Fat Princess

A new game about to be released for the PSN called Fat Princess is a TF2-like capture-the-flag game where the point is to feed your princess enough cake so that she grows really fat so that the opposing team can’t carry her back to their castle.

Honestly, the “core game mechanics” are brilliant, and if I didn’t care one whit about the objectification of women or fat-bashing, I would think this was the best thing since… well, Team Fortress 2. And I’m quite sure that this describes 99% of the PSN players out there, so I’m sure the game will do very well.But here is another game mechanic:

Instead of running out into the forest to find cake to fatten up the princess with, why not go out and find gold (which is a lot heavier than cake) to stuff into a treasure chest. The more gold in the chest, the heavier it would be, and the harder it would be to carry.

Oh, but that’s not as “cute” as cake and fat chicks. Right.

So how about layering, Karamari-style, a bunch of random shit on top of the chest, like shrubbery, rocks, bison, etc, that would also weight it down. That could be cute, and silly, and not reinforce nasty stereotypes about women and the obese.

Update: Shakes has caught wind of this, and she is pissed.

Update again: Can you believe just this afternoon I was wondering when my next outbreak of herpes trolls would be?